So many will never truly understand. Those whom have never been afflicted think depression is equivocal to what they experience when they're sad... Depression is NOT like being sad. Being sad is not a blanket that covers your entire being and weighs you down to the point where you can barely muster the strength…Read more …Depression?!
Abreaction
Just BREATHE... in... out... in... out... don't think, just breathe... in... out... don't ask where your are... in... out... in... out... Is that a table? Whose table? Why am I laying... ...[cough] ...[cough] Just BREATHE... in... out... in... out... I don't know how long I laid there, under that kitchen table, consciously breathing each breath…Read more Abreaction
Seeds of Doubt; Blooms of Rage
The worst part about having a mood disorder is the feeling of helplessness. So many people will never know what its like to watch yourself lose control and not be able to stop it. Distrust is like tooth decay; even the smallest little bit stuck in the wrong place can quickly escalate to a serious…Read more Seeds of Doubt; Blooms of Rage
…Meds?!
So... Like what the fuck happened to Flintstones's Vitamins?! I mean I know they are still out there and everything, but who decided that we should only make children's medicines taste good and/or in fun shapes? ...and what were they thinking? All I know is I would probably be a lot better at remembering to…Read more …Meds?!
A Place to Worship
...after being forced out of our home, my mother, sister, and I moved in with my grandmother in the west suburbs, and I effortlessly snuggled into a deep depression. I laid in my bed for most of the day, everyday for almost a year. I went to school sometimes, but coasted through in a daze,…Read more A Place to Worship
Foreword
Let me first apologize for this not being my first post, but that is sort of the point to be made; I do not have ANY concept of time. A lot of people say that about themselves or others, but I doubt most of them have ever even glanced the portrait of ineptitude that is…Read more Foreword
Journal Excerpt
October 7th, 2006; 4:35 am It has been almost a year, and here I am, once again NOT sleeping when I should be... I don't know why the thoughts come only at night. Perhaps it's the silence, or the emptiness, or the dark. You would think, I would be most comfortable here; in the night,…Read more Journal Excerpt
The Babysitter
In my childhood home, "the babysitter," was a 1981 model, RCA, console television; with a 32-inch-screen and cordless remote that was the approximate size and weight of a small brick.